Exact Change

January always makes me want to change something up, and the more immediately I can change something, the better… which means I usually change something with my appearance, and that often means my hair. I mean, why not? It’s relatively cheap and instantaneous.

I know from plenty of experience that doing this never produces the desired results. Last January’s shearing off of 18″ of hair was transformative, but not in the way I’d expected or hoped for. UGH, JANUARY. The days are still short, the weather is still cold, work is work; everything feels low-grade and pedestrian and boring and it seems like the perfect time to, I don’t know, get a tattoo. Jim and I were talking the other day about how we could be – and want to be, and plan to be, because we used to be – so much weirder than we currently are, and I felt this pang of desire to be freed of this malaise by CARING LESS.

I was thinking this morning that I cleave way too much to the idea of immediate change/results as opposed to working toward something and having the process be transformative, not the result. Yesterday, Cody and I were talking about this with regards to creating a following on Instagram for his photo work – which he is doing with success – and we had this exchange (I’m in blue):


I sound so wise, don’t I? He really is a stellar example of what attention and patience and trust in oneself can do, giving zero effs while doing so. He’s experiencing rapid change on a large scale in his life because he’s put his energy and focus on doing this work after scattering that energy and focus to the winds for so long – and he’s just 22. His life is not perfect, of course, but the transformation, especially from the vantage point of being his parent, has been extraordinary these last 8 months. Extraordinary. It brings up a host of feelings about what I was doing at his age and how I got to now, which are fully mine to deal with.

Basically…I’ve been watching a few of my favorites undergo amazing personal transformations these last few years, and I might have finally, truly absorbed this: Drastic haircuts do not equal being the architect of one’s life.

Allrighty, then! On to LOTSA (Lisa’s Open Tabs Saved Aggressively):

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My old friend Any Resemblance

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On speaking while female

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20 Ways to Make People Fall in Love With Your Instagram

My favorite article about last night’s handegg games